Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Limousine Liberals Drive Me Crazy

The term Limousine Liberal is defined as, "A pejorative American political term used to illustrate perceived hypocrisy by a political of upper middle class status; including calls for the use of mass transit while frequently using limousines or private jets, claiming environmental consciousness but driving low MPG sports cars of SUV's, or ostensibly supporting public education while actually sending their children to private schools."

How do you spot a limousine liberal? First of all you need to know what that breed of bird looks like - its habits and habitats. Since they come in all stripes and colors it is not always that easy to distinguish one from let’s say a raging Marxist, an out of date and out of touch 60’s Hippie, a pat-on-my-back progressive, and finally a left of center centrist. So let me give you some of their most obvious characteristics to help you identify and hopefully avoid them if possible.

When they come at you they’ll invariably approach you from the left. They’ll be the ones driving a Volvo, BMW or Prius. Be careful because they do not obey traffic rules or any other kind of rules. Rules are for other folks. Since a PC is associated with big business and an Apple computer with education they will opt for an Apple so the world will know that they are of the intellectual elite. To complement their computer they will have an iPhone, iPod, and just about any other high end digital device you can imagine. Price is no object.

Of course their kids go to a 25 – 40 thousand dollar per year private school rather than to a public school. They go to private school to get a ‘better’ education which, in lib-speak means, I don’t want my kids mingling with the children of common folk. Just for my ‘Occupy’ friends, the public schools are supported, in large measure, by the 1% who you hate and they pay 39% of the taxes while you pay nothing and expect a refund. Oh and those public schools are attended by the 49% who do not pay any taxes. Let those stats occupy your mind.

Liberals almost never read or watch anything of a conservative bent. The reason they give is that since Conservatives are bigoted, racist and homophobic why bother entertaining their ideas. Of course the same ‘hope and change’ crowd does not sully their homes by flying the American Flag, especially on national holidays. The only exception might be on Martin Luther King’s birthday. And that isn’t because they are moved by patriotism, it is so that they convince themselves and everyone else that they are not prejudice.

They admire and praise every despot and dictator (Stalin, Mao, and Chavez) and eschew and criticize democratically elected democracies like Israel. They are idealists without ideas, wishful thinkers absent a shred of common sense. They have their heads buried so deep in academia’s naïve self-congratulatory system that they are blinded by the light of their own brilliance.

Then there is Starbucks. Liberals like to rev their engines with a cup of Starbucks over-priced coffee, latte and cappuccino. They like European style coffee; it makes them feel so internationally connected and devoid of a trace of ‘proud to be an Americanism’.  Wawa and Dunkn Donuts – well those brews are for red necks and gun toting religiously inclined Hillbillies. In the phony and pretentious precincts that liberals inhabit their lexicon reflects their self-adoring image where a Small is a Tall, a Medium is a Grande and a Large is a Venti. And don’t get me started on Espresso, Sushi and Chop Sticks.

If in earshot you will hear them feverously debate the merits of being a Vegan, Vegetarian, Pescatarian, Flexitarian, Lacto-ovo-Vegetarian, Raw Vegan, Macrobiotican. They really do need to get over themselves because no one cares what they eat. On a personal note, I’m a level 5 Vegan—I don’t eat anything that casts a shadow or had a mother or has a face.

I think I’ve given you enough pointers on how to spot a liberal. If you find that you have any of those attributes then you too have been infected with Liberalitis. There is no known cure for it other than a dose of common sense. However if you are a liberal do not despair for in time perhaps you’ll grow up and grow out of it.